What happens when depression is cured?

The first point: Began to understand that "depression recovery" is not the main goal of life.

Many friends with depression will regard "recovery from depression" as their main goal in life. I think "If my depression doesn't get better, I can't do anything."

For example, a former friend of mine quit his job and cultivated at home for a long time because of depression and social fear. In the process of our communication, I focused on his social fear, and his social fear has improved to a certain extent after a period of time.

I told him that you now have the ability to go out in this state. As long as you take this step, you will get better and better.

But he still lies at home every day, does not go out and does not go to work.

I asked him why he is not so scary anymore, why he is still not willing to live a good life. He said that his depression hadn't recovered yet, and he always felt that he would come back again when suddenly, and he was always afraid of not dealing with the various problems of life.

After that, he started to have other questions, which seemed to test me deliberately. As long as he asked him, he would come up with prepared questions to me.

Until one day, he asked me a question.

"Are people with depression unqualified to like others?"

After understanding, he knew that he liked a girl, and the two communicated very well, but because of depression and low self-esteem, he did not dare to pursue each other.

At that time, I told him that the other party has the right to be responsible for yourself, and you only need to be responsible for yourself. If you want to get closer, you must take the initiative to change.

Then he really changed. He often asked me for books. He used to be sloppy and sloppy at home, but now he also goes out to learn how to dress and to work.

At that time, I suddenly understood that he had found various reasons to shirk, in fact, it was because he himself was not really ready to come out, so he was unwilling to let go of his "depression".

Because recovery from depression is actually a false proposition.

Many people take their medicines and treat them well. After they have gradually improved, it is still difficult for them to take the first step. Because they are waiting for "depression to heal completely." I think that only if I am completely well and I am thoroughly prepared can I do what I want to do.

But what can really change people is never "the recovery of depression", but after they recover, they begin to actively pursue the better part of their lives.

Therefore, the most intuitive point of depression recovery is that they no longer regard the recovery of depression as the main goal of life, but forget the so-called "cure" in the process of earnestly participating in life.

When we wholeheartedly want to solve "depression", we actually fall into a misunderstanding. We think that “life will get better once depression is cured.” In fact, it’s the opposite. Depression will disappear silently when we start to live a good life.

The second point: They can better face their "desires".

We all know that depression can make a person "lost energy" and become disinterested in everything.

At the same time, they will demean themselves and think that they are "not worthy" of having all the good things.

In this state, the desires born in one's heart will be forcibly suppressed, and even become a strong sense of shame.

"I do not deserve."

"How dare people like me have such extravagant hopes."

"Don't think like that."

...

They will consume their energy and desires through various forms of internal friction.

But energy and desire are actually the most important "energy" for a depressed patient to get well.

For example, a poor child was very hungry. He wanted to eat other people's chicken drumsticks, so he went to steal it, but he was beaten badly if he didn't steal it.

So he was afraid of being beaten, and he didn't dare to eat the chicken drumsticks until others put them in front of his eyes. Because he felt that he was not worthy of eating chicken drumsticks, because he felt that he would be beaten if he tried to eat them, so he desperately suppressed his desire for chicken drumsticks, even if he starved to death, he did not dare to take this step.

How do we change him at this time?

Many people think that "just rich" can change their "inferiority complex" and "poorness".

But no matter how many chicken legs are eaten, he can't change the "passiveness" in his heart.

The real change is to arouse his desire for "drumsticks".

You can ask him to do a little bit, and when he is done, give him a bun, and then make a bowl of porridge...Finally, when he has done enough, give him the chicken drumsticks.

In this way, he constantly awakens his "self-efficacy" and activates his initiative in life with positive feedback, which can truly change him.

The difference is that for many of us, that "drumstick" is "intimacy", "self-actualization" and so on.

When we are lonely trying to open our own world and believe in someone, but we are betrayed in the end, we will tell ourselves that we should never trust others so stupidly, so we will always be passive and suppress our "wants". . Once you are approached, you feel annoying or want to run away.

When we muster up the courage to get in touch with the world, but suffer a devastating failure and ridicule, we will shrink ourselves, and would rather have nothing to try to go out again.

Therefore, they need to take medicine, stop thinking, exercise restraint and accumulate energy in the worst case.

After sorting out the contradictions in my heart, I then face my inner desires calmly and positively.

Therefore, those who have recovered from depression are often able to admit their desires frankly, and can actively participate in life, to do things that were not dared to do in the past, and to get close to those who dared not to approach in the past.

The third point: They look more "complete".

We are very envious of a kind of person whose life is smooth sailing without any twists and turns. This kind of life seems to be very happy, but from the perspective of "life experience", they have relatively little experience of life.

The opposite is true for people suffering from depression. They are forced to face all the hardships and tortures of life. The problems that you don't need to think about are all superimposed on you.

If everything goes smoothly to make life perfect.

Then depression is to make life more complete.

For most people, the wounds and defects that they have on their backs will only be hidden forever. Because they don't seem to be that important, even that person won't find out.

But for patients with depression, they are already bloodied and riddled with holes. They are so important that they are life-threatening if they are not resolved.

So, you are forced to face them.

Those who are covered with small wounds, forbearance, so-so, make do, and they will end their lives.

However, those who were injured so that they could not move forward had no choice but to stop and make their own choices.

Some people just give up.

Some people stagnate.

After some people have enough rest, they heal themselves and move on.

When "repairing" yourself becomes the top priority of your life, when you have a deeper self-analysis and self-saving, you will be more likely to be complete than those who go forward with defects.

Depression can make people lose energy, become dull, and seem to have no interest in anything.

But because of this, they must also work harder than ordinary people.

Just because I can't experience it, I can't feel it, so I have to work harder.

Some of them worked hard to participate in various activities and laughed cheerfully. Some travel to various places and see different scenery. Some go skydiving and bungee jumping, wanting to arouse awareness of the world...

They like small animals and all kinds of delicacies, and it is extremely important to see the few people in their world.

Because of neurotransmitter disorders and a lot of energy wasted on internal consumption, they will often be shrouded in a sense of nothingness and feel that life has lost its sense of reality.

Therefore, only if they love life more than ordinary people can they resist the sense of nothingness.

Depression is a burdensome journey in life, and it is a sudden required course.

It is a subject that includes philosophy, psychology, and medicine. It forces you to face it every day, constantly learning and training.

It makes you a "heterogeneous" and has to rethink life from another angle.

It has greatly impacted your three views, allowing you to face survival and death, allowing you to redefine the meaning of this life journey from an individual perspective in the edge experience.

When you persist until you find an exit and relieve the pressure, everything will become extremely easy. You will have a premonition that you have passed the lowest point of your life, and the road behind will be smooth, life stress, death anxiety, nihility, the pursuit of meaning... There are no specific problems at each life node.

"I have always hated it, many times, it almost killed me."

"But every time I get through it, it's like waking up from a nightmare, as if it suddenly emerged from a deep and cold water."

"When I breathe desperately, blowing in the wind, and being illuminated by the sun again, I feel that I have become more complete than before."

The fourth point: They can "really stand with themselves".

It is really very, very difficult for a person with depression to do this. That means that they have established their own boundary and self-unity rational three views.

For example, when they think they need to rest, they will let go of all constraints and wholeheartedly allow themselves to rest in the most comfortable way.

They will not criticize themselves, and even when faced with external criticism, they can explain to themselves without breaking their defenses: "Those who claim to care about me do not understand my true state. If they are really good for me, they will Support me. On the contrary, it proves that they are not really good for me, and I don’t have to care about what they say."

Truly standing with oneself does not mean being selfish and emotional. On the contrary, they have formed a set of three views on living in harmony with the emptiness of life for a long time.

It is precisely because I am the person who understands myself the most in this world, so I have to follow my own wishes according to my own feelings in order to truly take good care of myself. In order to survive, they are bound to make some things from the social perspective as light as a feather at some point. This is also the "strong" he gained after defeating depression.

The world in the eyes of depression patients is indeed different from the world in which ordinary people live. And they gradually believe and believe that the world in their eyes is real, which is the process of their "healing".

From a powerless "self" to a powerful "self".

I will believe in myself.

I will recognize myself.

I will value my feelings.

I will cherish every "this moment".

I will pursue every good.

...

And all this will make you feel better and better.

You will not only build your own borders, but you will also build a fortress of life.

You will seriously manage an intimate relationship, have a family, have a passionate job, have two or two friends and hobbies... These are like a fortress to provide you with a solid defense when depression strikes.

The turning point for a person's recovery from depression is to "stand on one's side".

All this seems difficult and far away, but as soon as the turning point is passed, it will become easier and easier.